happy dewali............!!!!!!!!!!

First of all a very happy n safe dewali 2 all of u. celebrating this dewali at home wid ma family. not much excited but ya now that m at home then obvously happiness will be there. After a long time writing d blog. Actually i hadn't come here but my mother got ill thats why me here.

Agar main ghar pe hota huin to din bhar kuch na kuch khata hin rehta huin...kaju ki barfi i like the most...hmmmm. The pleasure u can get at home is nowhere. we can't hv so much of musti at noida coz all the things r very far n if u hv to go somewhere u hv to atleast suffer 1 to 2 hours and obvously money matters. one more thing is that u can't find ur that much type of locality as at home. Evryone is busy wid his own life. so east or west home is best..

No crackers at all. i don know why but if u hv some good feeling automatically internal feelings will come..so its ok no prob.

Now that r not these were the things that r not much important. important is that what i m doing...n d answer is jus sitting. that's what makes me sometime hopless. All my friend got placed n i m jus preparing n praparing...ohh kab tak chalega ye sab. lets see when d train comes.

At last happy dewali once again....enjoy!!

Last time....

Its too long to talk to u,to meet u even.really want to meet u last time.perhaps i know that u don wanna meet me but its my intimate feeling that u won't deny.plz help me to forget u .these days i m finding maself in dilemma that what should i do or not to do.why i remember u or why u always come to ma mind.I know its nothing gonna do anything n afterall its all my loss.U r not wid me but ur feeling is wid me.sometimes i thought to call u but that time my soul doesnt allow me to do so.why i should call u,nothing will happen to me but u will get in prob. n i don wanna this anymore coz allready many things had happend.

I want to share u all the things that i did for u.i know all the things gonna last.we never met.thats why i eagerly waiting to meet u.plz meet me last time n after that i wont tell u anything.I had a great time wid u that i can't forget.

Perhaps this is the last time that i m writing ma bog coz now the time comes to leave noida.n in future i don know what will happen.

The gist of my four year B.Tech life is that i hv spent great time wid ma friendz n tried to give all the things that i could but in return i didn't get anything.I m not saying that i m good person but ya i know one thing that as u sow so u reap.perhaps god wants this.now trying to get remove all the misshappenings that had happend so far.A new life is gonna start. hopefully got placed from the college n wherver the company will throw me, will be safe n sound.No chik pik anymore.These four year shows me all the thing that i should do n that i shouldnt do.

These days i m listening a song "dil mein ho tum ankho mein tum bolo tumhe kaise chahein,............janu meri janu." ...a heart touching song.

When i get tensed i always get alone sitting on the roof n thinks what the things happend n how can i get reveal from that.

Stars n the moon knows only how much i luved u.

"Leave me alone."

Today is very important day for me coz whatever thoughts came in my mind may be in future it will help me. the whole day was rely awesome,hvn't had any thing since morning execpt a litte maggi.nobody is here for me.everyone has left me alone. n i don't need anyone actually.Today i was roaming in the atta market for atleast 3 to 4 hours.i had a cold coffee n talking to my big bro on phone. What i felt is that evrytime when i used to go somewhere is only wid ma friendz but today was something new experience.rely felt very alone that time. I wish if i would hv someone wid me i would live the same life as other guys r living. but no regrets i don't need anyone at all.

In this world there r two sort of people,one is good n another is bad.It's totally depend on u where u lie.but sometimes if u r good u might hv to suffer some aweful situations.u r to come out of it.The samething happens wid me. I m not able to decide where to go. lots of complications hv come that bound me to choose the right way. This month is so disgusting that i can't tell u. nobody is here to help me.even nobody is here for asking the meal atleast.but no matters if evryone leaves then god comes.The only thing that i hvn't got till now is a best friend who atleast think about me. evrybody is mean...if u hv somework then ohhh shubham ur ma best friend n after that u got ur work done then whoz shubham...

Frienship doesn't mean that u r to do all things for him/her.atleast evryone has some self respect,attitude.I did all that i could n that i should.even then if u hv more attitude than me then its ok.leave ur life n let me leave ma life.

Perhaps i m not able for anyone.plz god help me ...show me the way.

"Remember me...

Don't get confused i hvn't seen the movie "remember me".its jus my feeling that i wanted to share wid u.this is the last month of my B.Tech life.For the last a year i hv seen so many situations..many friends..many enymies..ups n downs.but the most important thing is that at evry step i learned either it is bad or good.The only thing that i can't control is my emotions..jab bhi kisi ko dil se lagaya hai usne dhokha diya hai.U can't make ur friends happy always.

These days i m feeling very lonely coz evryone has left me.want to be alone....i don need anyone....kabhi kabhi to man karta hai ki sab profile delete kar duin aur sab se contacts bhi tod duin.people get egoistic when they get evrything.i always gave importance to my friendz but kya karun jab dil se lagaya hai sehna to padega hin.samy a great friend of mine is little angry wid me...not talking to me even.but no matters mana lunga kuch din gussa rahega.all these goes on.

Now comes to the main topic as always...love..exactly.for the last 6 month i only thought that she knows that i rely luv her,but today i heard that she still thinks that my friendz forced me to do so.everyday when i listen some romantic songs my eyes get wet...but u nevr understand or feel why it happens coz kisi ke liye ansu bahana bahut badi baat hoti hai....i don know ki tu mera blog padti hai ki nahi...par haan jis din maine bta diya ki main tere liye kya kya kar rakha hai usdin tujhe pata chalega ki how much i luved u....par sayad us samay tek der ho chukegi...par sayad mein tujhe ye sab baten batana hin nahi chahta jiska koi matlab hin na ho...i want to meet u last time.after some days u won't remember me whoz shubham...accha koi tha...The best thing as well as the worst thing happend in ma life n u know why.I always want to call her but don do that coz i don wanna make her in trouble.

U never ever called me or asked me how i m,jinda bhi huin ki mar gya..u never asked me why i called u at the night...what to do don know..
khair kya skta huin..today i hv learned one thing that if u r to know somebody u r to know him/her about u first.i want to share many thing to u but can't.

jus one thing wanted to tell u "remember me".coz i can't forget u anymore.

"unpredictable journey"

Its 5 in the morning and m writing ma blog.the best thing is that we never forget these memorale days.today me n ma friend samy went to hv some egg paratha along wid chai.actually we offenly go there.noida paratha point is open through out the night.after a day we hv to take our final exams n we r jus enjoing like this...really a great time.we were taking about evryonce love....kiska kiska ho paya aur kiska nahi...i only find that these all the things will be jus be keeping.we were had a great time. abhi vo so gya hai main blog likh rha huin...abhi tak pada kuch nahi hai.god knows what will happen in the exam..waise bhi 7 semo mein nahi dare to ab kya.
somewhere i read a story about a girl n a boy that boy was working in the cd shop.girl always come to buy the cd but they love each other as well but bol nahi paye.when girl come to retun the cd she always keep some letter inside it so that he will read n reply.but unfortunatly boy couldn't see that.boy had got cancer .he dies.now the girl comes n saw that all the letters was keeping as it is...she cried a lot coz she lost him...the moral of the story was that one should not keep his or her feeling inside...jus tell her whatever happend.atleast u don hv any regret that i didn't tell her ,may be she would accept me if i told her...so did i.but she thinks that whatever i told her jus coz someone had forced me...but its not true..kaise samjhaun use...bahut sari aise baten hein jo ager vo kabhi jaan gayi to use accha nahi lagega ki maine uske liye kya kya nhai kiya hai par main nahi chahta ki use pata bhi chale...chalne do jaisa chalta hai...sayad vo kabhi yaad bhi na rakhe kaun shubham tha..chalo getting little emotional ab nahi hona hai.....no more.
now going to hit the bed coz uthena bhi hai waise subeh ho bhi gayi hai.

jo hota hai vo acche ke liye hota hai..but all these happens wid me only i know that.there was a saying "as u sow so u reap".so doing best by maself...wid that going ...
bye

" koi lauta de vo pyare pyare din......

For the last few days m trying to study but can't do it..u already know why..exactly the same thing. a person who broke all the things. evrybody is busy in preparing for their exam n i m writing my blog. Actually what happens in this world is that if u love someone u r to be unfair to her then only u can get her...its true i hv seen this....but in my story i was always fair ,even i told her ma real feelings to her...but what i got is 'a broken heart".i don blame her n i should not actualy.

There r so many guys or girls knows in the clg that i like her but no body knows how i m feeling today coz nothing is there in my story.perhaps ...i don know...i really want to know why she refused me.is that anyone else in her life or i m so ugly that she don want me .jus talk to me....i really need to talk to u....u stoped me calling u but evryday i thought to call u. why i m not forgetting u..i know all the things even then..i remember those days when she were wid me, why it happend yaar..sometimes i regret her why i told her...i didn't wanted to show her enything but couldn't stop myself...

yesterday i saw a movie jannat one of my favourate movie...the best inspiring thing was that hero did evrything to get her, just for her....koi kisi ko itna chahta hai aur koi kisi ko ek baar bhi puch nahi sakta ki kaisa hai vo...i always called u jus to make some space in our relationship but nothing has happend...love is very tough ..jiske paas hota hai vahi janta hai...abhi bhi main tujhse yahi janna chahta huin ki akhir kuin? i know u hate me or m not like u..then why don't u tell me.
perhaps i can't tell u all these things that i did for u..evry drop of tear has the same question...why? why? main janta huin i shouldn't do that but kya karuin can't stop myself.

B.Tech life is gonna over n i hv the only one thing that hvn't got anymore is jus u..the one who should read ma blog perhaps she is not but her friend is going through it..no matter...

somewhere i read that love happens n i felt that....but jo hota hai accha hota hai.

love is not evrything ....i m not any heer ranjha or romio juliet .

just one line for u...."i lost the one who was never of mine but u lost the one who was only of her"

luv u mom......

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest puddle.

When you were 6, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7, she bought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor' s window.

When you were 8, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastic to
One birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut.
You thanked by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags.
You thanked by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing any one.
You thanked by saying "It's none of your business".

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying "I don't want to be like you".

When you were 22, she hugged at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could sponsor for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiancée and asked your plans for the future.
You thanked by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-there, please!".

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called you to remind you of a relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying that you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died.
And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR HEART.

IF SHE'S STILL AROUND, NEVER FORGET TO LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER.
AND IF SHE'S NOT, REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PASS IT ON.

ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR MOTHER, BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONLY ONE MOTHER IN YOUR LIFETIME.


I LOVE YOU Ma, thanks for everything!!

My Love....jus for u

an empty street, an empty house, a hole inside my heart... I m all alone, the rooms are getting smaller...
I tried to read, i m laughing with my friends... but I can't stop to keep myself from thinking...

Mana Bikhra Hoon Main Abhi .....

yaad yaad yaad......reh jati hai...

I don know how to forget coz she is all in my mind that its really impossile to leave her . what to do don't know. i did all that i could.these days i m listening a song yaad yaad yaad reh jati hai....really a nice one n somehow its true.if u love someone n u hv to forget her,its really tough....in this world there r two types of couple r there,one is that who r just a girl friend and a boyfriend. n another one is that who really like n do anything for her or him.but here a girl is different n a friend is different.
sometimes i thought i m the only one who havn't got anything till yet n i know its all just coz of me..
perhaps there might be some mistakes by me that i couldn't made a place in her heart.i had always a desire n offcourse many dreams for someone...i put up everything before her . not everything exactly what i did for her.....6 month ka pyar ek pal mein tut gya...CAD exam hahahahahaha a great day for me...when i see those pages i thought she couldn't be mine to whom i did all that n tears come in my eyes...but what can i do....somehow she is right ,if she is not in love wid me how could she fall n offcorese she should not even i won't do that coz u can't made anyone fall in love wid u and u should not..."every drop of tear is for u". '
but now she is my friend at least...i write apart from these in my diary which i can't write it here.............. 5 or 6 more days to see her...i know shee don know how is my feeling about her
...but
jus wanted to tell u i will wait for u always n will remember u tell the end of ma life coz u did so many things that i couldn't forget that.....

always miss u n nobody can fill ur place...

"The person who has his love dosen't know the love much as the one who hasn't love knows."

dil mera tod diya usne.....

"Last day of the college"

really will miss my friendz.evryone had its own importance.

Tu kabhi kisi aur ki hona nahi....

life never stops for anyone...

"life never stops for anyone...plz go on". a lovely quote by a lovelyone.i remember the day when my clg days started...4 years passed n now the last day really touching...everyone write their comment...i was little upset that day coz everyone is going n we don't meet again...specially the best one.everything is finished ..now i don feel like to write my blog.for the last a week really feeling uncomfotable..maine der kardi sayad isliye ye sab hua..i know.but i tried that i could..par koi fayada nahi...evryone has some feeling to share ..i jus wantd to do that..a girl who really mean to me.now jus trying to forget her but kya karun nahi ho pata.by the way likhne ke liye bahut kuch hai par main likhna nahi chahta....jiske liye likhta tha vo to meri hui hin nahi...

why didn't u accept me..........?

miss u always..no one is like u n no one can be.

Zindgi do pal ki...

Today a important day for me,my mom dad aniversary...i wished them in the morning took blessings as well.the most important thing is that they r my all karta dharta n a really love them...a lot..moreover today i did that i wanted for the last 6 months.i just tell all ma feelings to her,but she refused .i knew that she won't accept me....there is no one in my life.

Life is jus to hard.for the last 4 year i had a great desire to spent time as well ma feeling to a lovely partner but all the things r broken in jus a second.i dreamed one day that we will be in CCD or barista a day n will hv coffee.thats why i hate coffee house ....never ever been there.

really zindgi do pal ki hein hai...4 saal kaise nikal gaye pata bhi nahi chala...

Will really try to forget her but i know i can't.no one can force anyone to love her n offcourse he/she should not..its jus the feelings.one sided love never get succecfull. jinke paas pyar nahi hota vo bhi dunia jite hein bus kuch chijon ki kami rehti hai.i asked her for something anything that she want either her used pen.and ya i hv also got a gift for her...the only thing that she will accept or not.meri life mein bahut si baten pehli baar hui hai aaj kal.aaj tak meinne dusron ko gift karidwaya hai....aaj kisi apne ke liye gift puchase karne gya tha...i thought when the time comes nb i will buy gift for anyone...now the time comes but the situation is that she will or she won't..

i will tell her the only thing that enjoy ur life ..never think about me..main ji hein lunga kisitereh...perhaps mere paas kuch aur samay hota to sayad kuch ho pata...why B.Tech don hv 5 years...i don't want to go now...aaj room pe kitnow ki aankh mein aansu hein...pyar chij hein aisi hai ,kisi ko hasati hai to kisi ko rulati hai.

kisine kaha hai kiski khatir blog likhte ho ,maine kaha uski khatir blog likhta huin, meri hasti door tak kya pahunchi pata usko nahi jiski khatir blog likhta huin.

miss you always....tujhe jaate hue dekh nahi paaunga..

Blessings in disguised....

Yep its true a blessings in disguise someday... somewhere. it happend wid me. par jo bhi hai thic hai na se haan to hai. i really don know what should i do ...actually i m not too much happy as the salery is not much....little happy...little upset..par thic hai. i always thought that where is god ...why he is not helping me. now i got that blessing.i don't know wheather i will join or not but i thank to HIM.

today is a great day for me.everything is happing thic thic. in the afternoon i had fish ,given by someone... a good friend n i really thank to her. and ofcourse fish is a sign for goodluck.so since morning everything is good.and at last at night i talked to a friend to whom i really wanted to....
not on phone but haan...par use pata nahi tha that i was there ..sayad kitno dino baad.perhaps she is lucky for me,,and ofcourse very important coz she did some good work for me........bhale anjane mein.sayad me getting quite emotional so don be..jidgi isika naam hai ....jisse log khus rehen.

she is happy without me....god gave me everything except her.there r many thing ..but i cant write it here. somehow its personal.i write all these sort of things in my personal diary.writing diary is my hobby so that in future when i will go through, then will remember great moments that i had spent.

with that trying to kiss the world.

Missing u.....

Really feeling lonely...jus sitting and the life is moving away.this is the last year in b.tech and i found that if u r good then u r bad so don be good always. my weakness is that i m very imotional...i can't hold up my emotion..... hv made so many of friends. koi special bhi tha aur hamesha rahega.things dosen change jus the time.i hv only 2 to 3 months left n i really don want to leave these clg time,but what can i do. so enjoy the life as much as u can......life doesn't stop bus yadein reh jati hein..!

Its me n my cousin brother.this time i was in gaya celibrating holi with my family.had lots of masti.

Shivratri ...a divine day.

"Om namah shivaya"

A great day for everyone who believes in god .spirituality comes when all the things come true in ur life n u show faith in the god....god is evrything. this is the day on which god shiva got married with goddess sati which was a form of parwati.

I remember the day when i was in greater noida,started the day by worshiping lord shiva.that day was quite memorable. on this day we should hv bhang...n people take that.

that day my whole friend had had bhang almost more than 4 glass....n all were laughing n laughing..we had lost of food as after having bhang u get thrusty n hungry too much.

My head....u know like getting blast....at last i hit the bed n got slept.

from that day i hv decided that no more bhang again in life.bhang ka nasha really bad...

today don know what to do....jus going to mandir ,will take some falhar n all that.

"jai bhole nath....

lonely weekend...

why u r not wid me....

what was my mistakes....

i never know this could happen......

feeling lonely all the day.....

i remember the day u were wid me...

don't know why it happend...

but my feelings for u is that i can't express here...

hope u never know this any more....

this is all i feel about u....S

Really toughhhhhh.

It's really tough to know someone n hv faith on it.i really get confused what kind of people r there. i always thought that if i m clear n kind to someone probably he will be yar...but this is not happen all time.."friend " ye ek aisa word hai jisse ab mujhe ...kya kahun,jisper bhi faith kiya hai ya dil lagaya hai vahi dhokha de deta hai.i don remember but one lady said in a movie that in this world there r 2 kind of people one is good & another is bad.i always try to be good but some situation forced me to be bad...jaise ko jaisa karna chaiye..today one of my good friend **** has broken friendship wid me. i had a great attachement wid him but today what happend, i jus got shocked what he is saying to me...jiske baare mein mein aise sochta huin vo mere baare mein aisa sochta hai. this is not the first time to me bahuto na kiya hai....sochta huin friendship bas ek word hi reh gya hai jisse kaam hai vo accha dost hai aur jisse nahi vo....some times i think why i m a sagiterian,always get emotional.kya hoga jyada se jyada ek dost kam ho jayega..ab maine sochna hin band kar diya hai.

kuch din se mera dimag pura kharab ho rakha hai..kuch karne ka man nahi kar raha hai ,padai bhi nahi ho rahi hai.kya karun kahan jaun?

jindgi isi ka naam hai mere dost ,yahan her type ke log milenge.

Its too long to be here just coz of exam but now i m totally tension free..for the last 20 days i just got wacky yaar ....sitting in the room and studying.ye bhi koi life hai?that was really hectic.today i saw a movie pyar impossible...it was so so not too good not too bad.but one thing that inspired me was that person is not known by his face or style but by his nature.waise these all r just sayings..world is something different...jaisa ham sochte hein waise hota nahi.

really pyar impossible

now i m on the verge of life.deciding what to do what not to do.life mein always clear rehne ka.

don take tension.kisi ne kha hai.

the biggest loss in life kisi ki aankho mein aansu hona aapki vajah se but

the best achivement of life kisi ki aankho mein aaansu hona kisi ke liye.

now i got to go.........abhi tak kuch khaya nahi hai...... ja raha huin kuch khaunga and then will hit the bed.